I Miss Who I Used to Be — But I Don’t Want to Go Back There Either

You scroll through old photos and pause on one of yourself at 22, and you think,

“Where did she go? And why don’t I feel like her anymore?”

That longing isn’t just nostalgia it’s a sign that parts of you have been neglected, hidden, or left behind.

Do you ever catch yourself in the mirror and think, “Who is this person staring back at me?”

Or scroll through old photos and whisper, “I miss her. I miss me.”

Yeah. Me too.

Here’s the thing: midlife is weird. It’s a mix of nostalgia and rebellion.

You remember the younger version of yourself, fearless, untamed, spontaneous, maybe a little reckless and a part of you wants her back.

But then you think: Do I really want to go back there?

Because here’s the truth: the person I am now, the one navigating hormones, life shifts, kids, career pivots, and yes, the occasional perimenopause rage, she’s not worse.

She’s just… different.

And different can be kind of amazing.

Why We Miss Who We Used to Be

We mourn our past selves because we lost things along the way: energy, time, patience, confidence, friendships. Maybe we were taught to put everyone else first. Maybe we were never really allowed to be ourselves.

So yes, sometimes you’ll feel that pang of longing. That ache of nostalgia for a version of you who didn’t have back pain, mood swings, or the relentless weight of responsibility.

But that longing is also a signal.

A reminder of what we value, what we’ve outgrown, and what we can reclaim — in a new, wiser, more unapologetic way.

You Don’t Have to Go Back to Move Forward

Here’s the good news: you don’t have to return to that old version of yourself to feel alive again. You can evolve. You can reclaim that fire, that joy, that spontaneity, but now with wisdom, boundaries, and a little less chaos.

This is the magic of midlife. We don’t regress. We redefine.

• Want that energy back? Focus on sleep, nutrition, movement — not perfection.

• Want that confidence back? Build rituals and communities that remind you you belong.

• Want that spark back? Pursue the passions, friendships, and dreams you left on hold.

  
  

The Dangerous Age: Finding Yourself Again

That’s exactly why I created The Dangerous Age.

Because this isn’t about pretending midlife is easy.

It’s not about getting back to who we were.

It’s about discovering who we’re meant to be next.

Finding women who get it, friendships that lift you, and a community that celebrates your evolution.

So yes, we miss the old us. But maybe it’s time to stop longing and start living this next chapter unapologetically.

You don’t have to go back. You just have to go forward — and you don’t have to do it alone.

💛 Your Next Step: If you’re ready to meet your people, reclaim your joy, and create your next chapter with support, laughter, and connection, check out The Dangerous Age.

Launching January 2026 — waitlist is open now → ashleystehlik.com.