The Lie We Inherited: Thin, Happy, Selfless — or Else

Let’s rewind the tape, shall we?

Back to the 1940s — wartime era, ration books, victory curls, and the golden age of women being told:

“You can do it all, sweetheart — just don’t ask for anything in return.”

This was the era when women were praised for holding down the home front, keeping their kids clean, their lipstick fresh, and their waistlines tiny. All while their husbands were off at war or returning home emotionally unavailable and gloriously confused about how to talk about feelings.

And what did women do?

They coped.

With perfectionism.

With obedience.

And eventually… with prescription pills.

Thin, Happy, and Grateful — The Holy Trinity of Womanhood

Fast forward to the 1950s and 60s, and women are suddenly being told,

“Your worth is in your waistline, your smile, and how well you care for others without ever complaining.”

Want to know the three most dangerous lies women were sold in that era?

1. “Thinner is better.”

2. “A good woman is always happy.”

3. “You should give until it hurts… and then give a little more.”

   
   

We were marketed vibrators disguised as “facial massagers.” We were prescribed Valium and told to calm down. We were made to believe that asking for help was a personal failure and that motherhood, marriage, and housework should fulfill our every need.

We were told to be everything to everyone and to do it in heels — while smiling.

So Where Did That Leave Us?

It left generations of women exhausted, isolated, and ashamed to say they were unhappy — because “good women” weren’t supposed to be unhappy.

It created a culture of emotional suppression and physical perfection. It created women who ran households like CEOs but weren’t allowed to own their power. And it created a pharmaceutical industry that still, to this day, makes billions from medicating women for feeling the full range of human emotion.

Depressed? Anxious? Angry? There’s a pill for that. But God forbid you talk about it.

Welcome to 2025, Baby

Now here we are — in 2025. We’ve got access to information, to therapy, to breathwork, to trauma research, to nervous system regulation, to somatic healing, to menopause education.

We know better. But are we doing better?

Because here’s the kicker: Even in 2025, so many women are still carrying the weight of generations. Still thinking their value is in their appearance. Still thinking they’re “too much” if they express their needs. Still trying to juggle everything — careers, kids, marriages, friendships, hormones, dreams — while pretending they’re fine.

We have more freedom, but also more pressure than ever.

Be ambitious, but not aggressive.

Be natural, but not messy.

Be sexy, but not too sexy.

Be calm, but not boring.

Be successful, but don’t outshine your man.

Are you exhausted yet? Because I am.

So What Now?

Now, we burn the damn handbook.

We stop asking permission to rest, to rage, to expand, to evolve.

We recognize that it is not a personal failure to feel overwhelmed — it’s a natural reaction to living in a system that was never built for our full humanity.

We stop shrinking.

We stop apologizing.

And we start living from our own center — not someone else’s outdated blueprint for what a “good woman” should be.

Here’s What I’m Doing About It

I’m building a business, a blog, and a life that says: you get to be a whole-ass human.

Not a polished version.

Not a performative one.

A real one — with messy dreams, midlife questions, menopause mood swings, and all.

Each week, I’m showing up right here to unlearn, unpack, and undo the BS that’s been handed down.

And I want to know: what do you want to talk about?

What parts of being a woman in 2025 feel impossible?

What do you wish someone would say out loud?

Free Resources for Real Women

If you're ready to ditch the pressure and reconnect with yourself, I’ve got free support waiting for you:

👉 No BS Menopause Guide 👉 Menopause Reset Checklist

They’re gentle, powerful, and built for you, not for the version of you the world expects.

Let’s do this differently.Let’s do this together.

Because being thin, happy, and selfless was never the goal.

Being alive, aligned, and unapologetically YOU?

That’s the revolution.

With love and fire, Ashley

Certified Menopause Coach + Trauma-Informed Guide