Why We’re All So Damn Tired (and It’s Not Just Hormones)

Exhaustion isn’t a flaw. It’s a symptom. A symptom of living in a world that never slows down for women, especially when you’re navigating midlife and everything that comes with it.

Yep. Me too. And if you’re in perimenopause or menopause, I’m going to tell you something you already know deep down: it’s not just the hormones.

Sure, the hormonal rollercoaster doesn’t help, hot flashes at 2 a.m., night sweats that soak your sheets, and cortisol levels doing somersaults, but the exhaustion?

That’s not the full story.

1. We’re Doing Too Much

We’re CEOs of chaos, managing kids, parents, partners, careers, and somehow still expected to look put together while we do it. We’re constantly giving, doing, and performing. And somewhere along the way, we forgot to give a damn about ourselves.

No wonder we’re tired.

2. Sleep Is Not What It Used to Be

Remember when you could sleep 7–8 hours straight and wake up ready to conquer the world? Yeah… me neither. Even if you do get the hours in, quality sleep is a different beast in midlife. Tossing and turning, waking up at 3 a.m., or having your brain run through every worry you’ve ever had, it’s a thing. And it’s exhausting.

3. Mental Load is Crushing Us

We aren’t just tired physically, we’re mentally drained. The mental load of remembering everyone else’s needs, planning meals, tracking appointments, managing work projects, and trying not to lose our minds? That is a full-time job on top of life.

4. Emotional Labor is Real

Let’s be honest: we’ve been caretakers forever. We feel obligated to manage not only our lives but everyone else’s feelings. That emotional labor? It’s exhausting and invisible. And it steals energy we didn’t even know we had.

5. Self-Care Isn’t Optional

Here’s the hard truth: if you keep treating self-care like a luxury, your body will force you to stop. Fatigue isn’t just an inconvenience, it’s your body screaming: pay attention. Slow down. Prioritize yourself.

What We Can Do About It

• Sleep hygiene: Dim the lights, ditch screens before bed, make your sleep environment sacred.

• Boundaries: Learn to say no without guilt — yes, you deserve it.

• Energy audit: Track what drains you vs. what energizes you and do more of the latter.

• Community: Find your people — women who get it, who lift you, who share the load.

💛 You’re Not Alone

Feeling tired isn’t weakness. It’s a signal. A wake-up call. And the good news? You can reclaim your energy, your joy, and your life, but you don’t have to do it alone.

That’s exactly why I built The Dangerous Age.

A space for women to reconnect, support each other, and get tools that actually work, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

✨ Your Next Step: Ready to stop running on empty?

Join the waitlist for The Dangerous Age → ashleystehlik.com. Get a free 5-Day Self-Sabotage Workshop straight to your inbox just for signing up.